I had a friend in junior high who could do no wrong with the ladies (or, I guess, ‘girls’ would be more accurate). They treated him like a celebrity. Why? Best I could figure it was because of his incredibly popular (and smooth) one liners and ice breakers.
For example. Whenever Shawn came up to a group of people he would always say the same thing, What’s the story here?. Yeah, I know, seems pretty simple, but you gotta remember what it was like in junior high. These were the days when merely being in the same room with a pretty girl could strike an otherwise healthy male adolescent, mute (or so I’ve heard).
Some of my completely STUPID lines still haunt me to this day. Here are a few by way of confession — perhaps it will cleanse my soul and they will no longer haunt me.
1. Walked up to the prettiest girl in school and said, “Wanna get a soda?”
A SODA! I’m from California, what the heck is a ‘soda?’ But an adult (from the midwest) said that would be a good opener and I believed them. Scar number 1.
2. Then there was the time I walked up to the most popular cheerleader at lunch time (she was sitting at one of the tables) and said, “Are you sitting here?” Hint –> when evidence is that strongly obvious, just go with it. My comment went over about as well as if I’d asked the same thing about her hair, “That hair yours?” Scar number 2
3. A girl I liked in 9th grade only had eyes for the quarterback on the football team. One Fall day that will forever be etched into my brain (b/c it was literally beat into it), I had to endure hearing the woman of my affections drone on endlessly about, Steve Ferrari (yes, that was his real name — probably still is), Oh, he’s so cute. Oh, he’s so tall (which he was because he’d been held back a year or five), oh, he’s so awesome…yada, yada, yada. I’d had enough so, I smoothly interjected, He’s practically old enough to be in college, or grad school. I hope to be that far along at that point in my life as well. Only, to do so, I’d need to move past the 9th grade! Steve got wind of this (duh, I wonder how) and attempted to communicate the only way people who cannot talk could, with his fists. Scar number 3
Confession time over, back to the story. And that’s just it, It’s all about the story. People love having a story to tell — especially if it’s all about them. What’s the story here? What’s your story?
If you’re anything like me, I’ll bet your greatest times were also some of the scariest and most potentially dangerous…they were undoubtedly the times of great risk where you ‘took a chance, threw caution to the wind, closed your eyes and jumped (you get the picture). Am I right? Of course I am.
Which leads me to the greatest disappointments in your life. Weren’t they (aren’t they), the times you sit back and let others take all the risks? Aren’t they the times you climbed back down the high dive ladder instead of jumping? I’ll bet they were the times when you stayed back with the herd rather than stepping out for God.
Good news = God has an incredible adventure for your life — one that will bring great glory to His name — one that will create a story out of your life that you will never forget.
Bad news = No one in “the herd” has a story worth telling.
Christian Herd = Look at my last blog. But, by way of review, people of the herd are, ‘against everything (rather than for anything),’ tend to, ‘hang out only with others exactly like themselves, only get worked up when outsiders come into the herd (they chase them off immediately with their, us four and no more mentality), love to sit around and contemplate their spiritual navels rather than actually get out and minister to others, etc., etc.
Secular Herd = ‘Those whose first (and sometimes only) goal in any conversation or interaction with others, is to tolerate, not offend and BLEND, BLEND, BLEND,’ This also bleeds into spiritual aspects of life. The secular herd’s blending mentality naturally causes them to see all religions the same. Their theory is that all you need to do is be sincere about what you believe and that God will accept you into paradise…To them, ‘all roads lead to heaven.’
More about all this later. I just saw the time and
I HAVE GOT TO GO!