10 Things regarding Small Groups Sure to Change You Into a Blathering Idiot in 30 Days or Less!

#1 Call frequent meetings to see if everyone approves of the vision God gave you.

#2 Vote on whether or not we should allow the vision to be hijacked by anyone and everyone who has a differnt idea.

#3 Personally respond to every criticism you receive — especially the ones that come from those you never met that heard half a sermon from 3 years back about a topic they know nothing about.

#4 Give the majority of your time to those who make it crystal clear they don’t like you. Maybe you can change their minds.

#5 Give the highest level of authority and decision making to those with the fatest wallets and the most impressive secular jobs. Oh, and make sure they only attend about once a month at most.

#6 Find the most contentious individuals in the church and place them in charge of a small group.

#7 Never monitor small groups to see if they are still on track with the vision.

#8 When you find a small group that is veering off course and leading others astray—ignore it. It will probably get better all on its own.

#9 When you start hearing a lot of people say that they have a hard time connecting at your church–blame them. They just aren’t trying hard enough.

#10 When you hire some one to do grow small gorups and they do not grow–give them at least 5 more years. Your church is different.

I’m sure there are more, but try these if you want a short cut to losing your mind!