How does Biblical submission work when my husband is gone (traveling w/ work) and I’m juggling all the balls at home- daughters/sons, household responsibilities, and then he returns, trying to do things his way?
Communication about how things need to happen for the family to operate is important. Your roles as husband and wife will look different than a husband who doesn’t travel. Talk about what happens when he’s traveling so he understands the importance for keeping continuity in how things are done.
Important: He needs to be the leader of the family when he’s home and when he’s traveling. Also important – He needs to think carefully through the challenges of biblical marriage and raising a family Biblically when he’s physically absent so much more than your average husband and father.
Throughout biblical times; however, Israel was constantly at war. God didn’t have a different set of family guidelines and principles for these families and the ones who were never apart—the laws, leadership principles and biblical roles remained the same. They’re still the same today. Often people will try to make the argument that biblical ideas of leadership, male/female roles and submission are dated and for another time. However, consider the following text and what it clearly implies regarding this faulty line of thinking…
I Timothy 2:8-14 says, “ 8I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling; 9likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, 10 but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works. 11Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. 12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. 13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve; 14and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor. 15Yet she will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control.” (English Standard Version)
Then, The Message…
I Timothy 2:8-14, “8-10Since prayer is at the bottom of all this, what I want mostly is for men to pray—not shaking angry fists at enemies but raising holy hands to God. And I want women to get in there with the men in humility before God, not primping before a mirror or chasing the latest fashions but doing something beautiful for God and becoming beautiful doing it.
11-15I don’t let women take over and tell the men what to do. They should study to be quiet and obedient along with everyone else. Adam was made first, then Eve; woman was deceived first—our pioneer in sin!—with Adam right on her heels. On the other hand, her childbearing brought about salvation, reversing Eve. But this salvation only comes to those who continue in faith, love, and holiness, gathering it all into maturity. You can depend on this.” (The Message)
Some of you are reading this and saying, “Huh? How does this prove that any of this is for today?”
Simple.
If we want to make the argument that Paul was simply speaking to the culture of his day then we would expect Paul to take care not to mention things from generations and cultures long gone—especially not Adam and Eve, the very first man and woman because to take it back to the beginning is to say that the principles and roles he just set forth are “timeless.” And this is in fact exactly what the apostle is saying, that what’s written here applies to all generations and all marriage relationships for all time. The good news is that following God’s ways leads to the thriving, loving marriage that any one of us ultimately desires and so few find because…
God’s ways are higher and more narrow—less traveled and counter-intuitive.
But they work.