One of the things our society honors pretty much across the board is a bride on her wedding day. Think about it, that’s her day! The day she’s waited for, prepared for and dreamt about her whole life. And though it only lasts a few hours the memory of that day can last a lifetime. I’ve seen couple married 50 plus years who still talk about their wedding day like it ought to be a national holiday. It’s pretty cool, really.
As believers we honor the ultimate in brides–Christ’s Bride–the Church. Sure, not every church is perfect or even beautiful, but each one is special to Jesus–the Bridegroom. The Bible tells us, “Christ loves the church and gave Himself for her.”
That’s why we ought to be careful to love and honor His Bride as well.
Are you?
Careful, that is?
We’ll get back to that but first let me tell you about a lunch I had last year…
Around the middle of 2010 I was meeting with a fellow pastor who has been a long time friend. We talked about the usual before getting around to dealing with conflict in the church. I was very interested in this veteran’s (and very ‘godly’ man’s) opinion since I’d seen him weather storm after storm from both inside and outside the church. In fact, he was weathering another even as we spoke–an insider job this time.
“So what are you going to do about it?” I asked
“Nothing I can do,” He said, “Relationships trump everything.”
I felt a cold chill as he said those words because, at least at some level, I knew he was right–or so it seemed. I also knew it was one of those realities we ought to try real hard to change. Relationships are important, but they are not the most important thing–especially when those we are in relationship with start leading us away from God.
And, if you’re a parent and reading this you understand perfectly what I am talking about. You tell your kids all the time to choose their friends wisely. However, in focusing on our kids have we forgotten the importance of this principle ourselves?
How many times do we carelessly allow the people around us to draw us away from God against all we know is right and true? And often in the name of nothing deeper than not wanting to rock the relation-ship. But I’m telling you God’s Word says that boat needs to be rocked sometimes—sometimes we’d be better off scuttling it and sending it to the bottom of the ocean than we would trying to salvage it—especially when your fellow Love Boat passengers care more about people pleasing than God. Seriously, when disunity and division happens within the Body of Christ there’s never a ‘godly reason’ for it. Now stop for a second and think how ridiculous that logic even is.
- a godly reason to gossip?
- a godly reason to lie?
- a godly reason for jealousy?
- envy?
- strife?
No way! How can there be godly reasons to do ungodly things—things God hates? That way of thinking doesn’t even make sense.
Which was exactly what my pastor friend was trying to say to me. Of course he understands that sinful and divisive behavior is wrong. But he was making the point that many believers will do it anyway—even go against God’s Word and what is clearly right when someone they ‘care about’ gives them what appears to be a relational ultimatum.
Why? Because…
Relationships Trump Everything.
Even God’s Word?
At times.
Even the conviction of the Holy Spirit?
Absolutely.
Heck, relationships even trump relationships sometimes!
Or, perhaps I should say, ‘relationships even trump relationship (singular) instead, because anytime individuals divide and wound the Bride of Jesus they are saying in essence, ‘Even my relationship with God Himself is not as important as my relationship(s) with my close friends.
- Even if our friends ask us to lie?
- Even if our friends pressure us to go against what we know is right?
- Even when our friends tell a whopper of a tale with no evidence whatsoever?
- Even if…
I’m thinking you get the point. It’s not spoken, maybe not even conscious, but the fear in some seems to be this…
“Losing my friends in my small group or losing this or that individual in my life would be the worst possible thing I can imagine. I’d rather play dumb than play lonely.”
But that’s pretty naive. Actually, I can think of a lot worse things like,
- Disappointing God.
- Grieving the Holy Spirit.
- The wrath of God.
As you can imagine, I’ve got more to say but let’s all chew on this for a while first…
When you think about it, what in this world is worth more than pleasing God? Check out scripture says here,
“What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?” Matthew 16:26