Read the previous posts below if you want to catch up.
For everyone else, let’s assume at this point that we are talking about someone who has either ‘good, biblical reasons’ for leaving a church or someone who has pathetic reasons but has decided to leave anyway. Either way, how does one leave in a way that honors God?
Well, for the one leaving with illegitimate reasons—chances are pretty slim that they are going to give a rip as to how they leave, but, assuming they are not going to follow one ungodly behavior with another, I will include them in this as well—just this once 
.
In no particular order:
- You pray about this ‘feeling’ you have that it might be time to move on. Is God in this? Is this your own deal? Did you eat something that didn’t agree with you the night before? Did someone hurt your feelings with the truth? Did you verify your misgivings by getting the facts? Make sure you work all the way through these things before moving on.
- Talk to the leadership. This is perhaps the single most neglected step in the process of leaving well. But how can you leave in a godly way if you don’t even know whether or not the reasons you’re leaving for are true?! Most people who leave a church do so because they took up the offense of a ‘friend’ or small group acquaintance or something. They see that someone they know has ‘apparently’ been mistreated by the church so the church must be ‘bad.’ By talking to those whom God has put in place as shepherds of the flock you (at the very least) leave knowing you have the whole picture.
- You tell those you serve with that you will be finishing up your time of service and then seeking what God has next for you.
- You make sure your areas of ministry are not left high and dry.
- You vow before God to edify and encourage with your words even if you are leaving for right and godly reasons. There actually isn’t a ‘right scenario’ for gossip and divisiveness.
- You never recruit others. This is really important. I’ve seen people leave a church where they just didn’t seem to fit and because of the misfit feeling they had there, they recruited as many as they could to go with them in order to validate their own shortcomings. The real victims here are often brand new believers who were beginning to experience the freedom and joy that comes with real life transformation only to have it dashed to pieces by one disgruntled person. Always remember—just because a church isn’t working out for you doesn’t mean it isn’t working out.
- For the ultimate in godly leaving, try praying for those with whom you disagree. I’m amazed once you strip away all the fluff from the arguments of church shopping gypsies how often their behavior boils down to just wanting to be right—just wanting to win at all costs. Truly amazing. What exactly is the prize for winning this divisive game? Bragging rights in church devastation? No, better to pray for those with whom you find yourselves at odds. The benefits are many but perhaps the greatest of them all is that it has a healing effect on you. In no time flat, you will see your anger and bitterness dissipate and your usefulness for Christ Jesus will once again rise to the top.
Well, that’s it on this one. If your place of worship is not right for you—If you think you need to hit the road, Jack—and that you won’t be coming back no mo, no mo, no mo, no mo. Then, hit the road, but when you do leave…
leave well.
* Attention Brookies! The ‘E-Vites’ are back up on the website for an easy way to invite your friends to the opening of our, “United Series” this weekend. Click here for a Weddington e-vite and here for a Monroe e-vite. You can send as many of these as you want. Why not send them to all your Facebook friends who live near one of our campuses? There’s no better way for them to spend the weekend then hearing about the life changing love of Christ at Southbrook Church!
* Ladies, don’t forget to go to the MORE CONFERENCE this Friday and Saturday. Our own, Lysa TerKeurst will be leading the charge for women to become “More than just a good Bible Study Girl.” Click HERE for more information.